What Has Fear Cost Me?

I’m currently reading Chris Guillebeau’s excellent book, The Art of Non-Conformity.  I’m only about 65 pages into the book, but I can already tell that it has a very powerful message to share.  It seems like every couple of pages, Chris says something that I want to write a blog post about.  Up until now, I’ve resisted the urge.  But I just read something that brought back a flood of memories, regrets, and insights that I’d like to share.

In the book, Chris tells the story of two guys he mentored.  Both guys disliked their lot in life and they wanted to do more than simply exist in an office from 9-to-5.  The first person Chris spoke to was Sean.  Sean was bright, articulate, and dissatisfied with his job, even though it paid him a significant amount of money each year.  Sean explained that he wanted to travel and live a life of adventure, not spend his life in an office.

The second guy was Aaron.  Aaron was much like Sean; young, intelligent and ambitious.  In particular, Aaron wanted to quit his job and devote himself to working for a charity.  Chris was working/volunteering in West Africa at the time, so he had some great insights for Aaron.

In the end, Sean followed through on his desires and Aaron never did.  As Chris points out:

“I don’t think Sean is a better person than Aaron.  They are both smart, ambitious guys who studied and worked hard.  The difference was that Sean was able to conquer his fears and Aaron wasn’t.  For Sean…the process of fear-conquering was never easy, but it was definitely worth it.”

At this point I had to put the book down and reflect on my own life.  What had my inability to conquer my own fears cost me?  It’s hard to answer that question with any certainty, but I suspect it has cost me plenty.

As an example, shortly after Kim and I were married, we were living in St. Louis.  At the time, I was a first line supervisor for an insurance company and Kim was working at Enterprise Rent-A-Car.  Kim used  to work a half day on Saturdays and it became our habit for me to take her to work on Saturday morning and then pick her up at noon.  We’d then go out to enjoy a nice lunch and whatever else the day held in store for us.

Kim’s office at Enterprise was just down the hall from Jack Taylor’s office.  Jack is the founder of Enterprise and at that time was still actively involved in the business.  I think his son Andy pretty much runs things now.

Jack used to see me waiting for Kim each Saturday, and in time, we started having conversations.  It started out as just a “Hello” or “How are you today?”, but eventually grew into long, involved conversations.  Jack was very generous with his time.

In those days, I was itching to start my own business and make my mark on the world.  Jack was willing to listen to my ambitious plans and to make suggestions.  I was in the planning stages of starting a mobil oil change business.  In a nutshell, I wanted to offer on-site oil changes at office buildings and apartment complexes.  My plans called for setting up a schedule at area office parks and apartments, posting signs to let people know when I’d be there, and then showing up at the appointed time to change oil.

I had struck a deal with the brother of a friend of mine to handle the day-to-day operation of the business.  My role would be to stay in my job to make sure we had the money necessary to get the business off the ground.

After our discussion on Saturday where I shared my plans with him, I picked up a Forbes magazine and saw that my friend Jack was listed as one of the 400 richest people in the country.  Wow!  I knew Jack had done well for himself, but I had no idea just how well he had done.*

* For what it’s worth, Jack and his family are still on the list with an estimated net worth of $1 billion.

The next Tuesday I received a phone message letting me know that Jack had called and that he wanted me to return the call.  What?  One of the richest men in America was calling me?  The thought of it seemed crazy.  Of course, I returned the call immediately.

Jack explained that he had been thinking about my mobil oil change idea and that he had shared it with some of the people in his company.  They liked the idea and thought they could take advantage of it.  He indicated that if I could also rotate tires on-site, I could start my business with the 2000 cars Enterprise had in their St. Louis fleet. 

I was floored.  I had already figured out that I could earn a full-time income by doing 1000 vehicles per year.  With 2000 vehicles, I could run two vans full-time.  Jack also mentioned that if things worked out in St. Louis, perhaps I would be interested in expanding to other areas as well.

That night, I called my would-be partner to share the good news.  To my dismay, he told me that he had decided he needed a more stable job and just that morning had accepted a position as a mortgage broker.*  I was crushed.  I had this great opportunity sitting right in front of me and suddenly it was slipping away.

* I know it seems crazy that my partner considered a 100% commission mortgage broker job as “more stable,” but that’s how some people roll.

Over the next several days I considered my options.  One possibility was that I could quit my job and run the business myself.  Problem was, I had just gotten a promotion at the insurance company and I had a bright future (not to mention a $35,000 salary).  I struggled with the decision, and in the end, my fear won out.

The next Saturday I sat down across from Jack in his office and told him the news.  I had decided to abandon my plan because my partner had backed out.  He was understanding and encouraged me to give it a go on my own.  Jack said, “You’re a bright young guy and companies are always looking for bright, young guys.  If this doesn’t work out, you can always get another job.”

In hindsight, I had absolutely nothing to lose by giving the mobil oil change business a try.  I was young (in my 20′s), lived in an apartment (no mortgage), and we didn’t have any kids.  I would have been risking nothing but a job by going forward with my plan.  However, at the time, things didn’t seem quite so clear cut.  I was blinded by my recent promotion and my salary (it wasn’t bad for the time).  I desperately wanted to start my own business, but I wasn’t willing to give up anything to do that.  Thinking back about it now, it makes me ashamed.

So, what did my inability to overcome my fear cost me?  It’s hard to know for sure.  It cost me the ability to start a business I believed in.  It cost me the opportunity to work with Enterprise and possibilty establish a business and a relationship that would last for years.  It also cost me the possibilty of now being financially independent.

What is fear costing you in your life?  How would your life be better if you could break through that wall of fear and realize all of the great things that are on the other side?  To find out, I encourage you to do two things.  First, pick up a copy of Chris’ book.  It’s a great read and it will help you to live the life you want.

Second, check out Sean Ogle’s Overcoming the Fear of Uncertainty program.  Sean is the same Sean detailed above.  He worked with Chris to overcome his fears and to live the life of his dreams.  When Sean talks about overcoming the fear of uncertainty, he’s not just talking theory.  He’s done it and he can help you do it too.

Note from Lou: The links above are NOT affiliate links.  I do not get paid a dime if you buy Chris’ book or Sean’s program.  I just think they contain great material and could be helpful to you.

Update (10/1/10) — After writing this post, I received a copy of Forbes magazine which included the 2010 edition of the Forbes 400 richest Americans.  My friend Jack Taylor (and family) occupy the 37th position on the list, one spot ahead of News Corp’s Rupert Murdoch and five spots ahead of Apple’s Steve Jobs.  Jack and his family have a net worth of $6.5 billion.  Enterprise Rent-A-Car (the family’s main business) now has more than 713,000 vehicles in their fleet.